30/08/2018

Dear Diary:

I need to tell you about this beautiful chinese movie called Our time. You can watch it here:
I spent the rest of the day playing videogames and otome games. I finished the Blind Griffin.

TIME FOR MINI GAME REVIEW 
THE BLIND GRIFFIN:
Story? This game has three routes Alexei, Giovanni and Emilio.  Each of the characters have a different personnality and nationality that make them pretty unique. Our analphabet chinese MC is searching for a new job. She encounters a sign and decides to follow it but oh boy! Guess what? The people who work there happen to be magicians! And our MC discovers she is one of them too! She will need to choose a mentor (out of the three) to pass the magic exam.
How many endings? Each of the characters have a bad, normal and good ending plus a bad general ending (10 endings on total).
How much time? 1 hour per character (all endings) so minimum 3 hours for a full completion.
Did I like it? The stories are good, but nothing special. It is a good short free game to pass the time. Nevertheless, I didn't like the drawings for the good endings of Giovanni and Alexei. The game is too short to actually fall in love with one character. Nevertheless, Emilio is my favorite (GOD HIS GOOD ENDING IS TOO CUTE).

I started playing LOL. To be honest the game is simple, you just need to memorize the attacks of each champion (well, I know they are 140 but there isn't any challenge you just need to play). I like OSU! best because there you can actually see your improvement but in LOL you can't, it just depends on your play time so it may seem rather unfair to new players.

29/08/18

Dear Diary:

Finally I finished Le Cercle littéraire des amateurs d'épluchures de patates.

End book (not really a spoiler?) Review xd
The love part was unexpected and very random but the book ended well? I guess... I wanted to know more about the characters because I was growing so attached to them finally at the end. It's a pity, an epilogue would had been great. I'll do a full review later.

Another mini book review?
I am now reading another book (of course), it is named Le monde d'hier by a jew author named Stefan Zweig. He is telling until now his whole life  (well it's an autobiography what did you expect y'all) and the context. It seems interesting until now. Hopefully I grow attached to him. (I'm page 30)

Now back to my life.
There wasn't anyhting interesting. Yesterday I suffered a lot because of car movement. I had a huge headache because of that. I need to get a check on my nose. There aren't anymore strange objects on me. Hopefully I can now breathe at 100%. I need to do homework god kill me.

P.S Talking about god, hate the Pope even if I'm not gay. I can never become christian with all of their crazy thougts.

27/08/18

Dear Diary:

   After reading , I decided I should put more work in this blog. The book (who at first I found too simple) is great. 

Mini Review (spoiler free: They must do more of this please, I'll just tell a short presentation who will help you read this book faster without getting lost).

Note: I just read until page 350 from 410 (not even sure) but I had to write a mini review before my ideas become erased.

First of all we need to know this book is divided on two parts.

The first part is when Juliet (our *insert red's voice saying heroine from nameless here*) talks about her love for books and her failed relationship (This part is not her showing her critique against love by the way) . This part is filled with references of other books (they are not well-known books, they are old books who I think the author considers them little hidden jewels). After a presentation of Juliet an her friends, Sidney and Sophie, Juliet receives a letter from Dawsey, a guy who lives on Guernesey and lived while the nazi occupation was taking place.

This part ends up being really easy to read, the comedy is really present mostly half of the first part. Nevertheless, don't start reading to fast pay extra attention to what the multiple but multiple characters tell you, at the second part they will become an important part and you will extremely like it. The second part is filled with events from the second world war and character development. The comedy, extremely present at part one, slowly fades away from part one to part two. The book is still easy to read but you start taking it more seriously after.

Conclusion: Don't let the first part deceive you, even it is not an excellent book, it is certainly a book you will enjoy and maybe even re-read. Even if you don't notice (like me) you start getting attached to the characters slowly making it a great experience.

This book showed me that thanks to impressions we do on people, we start writing our story who will be later told to others. I find this a great thing, It makes me think again of the importance of memories (*Insert nameless ost: Secret*).

After this long review showing you my love for this book, I will proceed telling you how was my week. 

Thursday, I had a test about "L'histoire du Roman", I really wanted a 20 on that test but I failed at studying because I didn't had time. I just hope I get a 14... I feel so sad getting left behind on my studies. This day I started thinking of a friend who came last year and now goes back to his country of origin due to his father's work. Update: I got a 13...

I think Le Cercle littéraire des amateurs d'épluchures de patates influenced me deeply because thanks to this I now decided to also start describing my friends lives. I decided to change my motives for this blog. If I someday end up dead for I don't know what reason, I will leave this blog as a testimony to who I was for others. I'll show some posts to my friends If I sometime have an opportunity.

Friday: I had a test in socialisation, hopefully I did well. 

Saturday: I noticed I got behind in my japanese studies. Everyone studies except me. I should prove them wrong and get a 100 this exam.

Sunday: Oh boy! A whole day doing my dissertation. I need to get 10+, if not I'm going to kill myself.

Today 27: Really boring day, hopefully I finish my book and work on economy and  english.

P.S. due to do those nameless references the opening theme is now stuck on my head.
I have 16.29... Kill me, I'm doing so bad on everything.

23/08/18

Dear diary:

It has been a tough week, nevertheless I have good news. My TPE exam was today and it turned out great. For tomorrow I have to study for french, it's a lot... I'm on page 150 of Le Cercle littéraire des amateurs d'épluchures de patates. I feel like I need to force myself to finish books, I need to read a lot more. I had lots of homework. For friday I have a mathematics exam and socialisation exam. I need to have 20 on mathematics and more than 15 in ses to keep my grades up.
I haven't been able to improve in osu, I haven't found good beatmaps until now... my best friend is grounded because she didn't pass her history test... I just noticed that that year was really easy. How did I get so many bad grades. I had 16+ but they were still bad.
I finished the manwha Make me bark. It turned out so short, to be honest I expected a lot more.

18/08/18

Dear diary,

Thursday I went to the orthodontist. Until today it hurts but it bearable. 

Yesterday I had a 15 year old party, I was hooping my dress was not too much shine or different than the rest but I hoped It was good enough for the party. I saw my other friends dresses and they were so simple while mine drawed more attention. I felt so akward I hated everything. I need to add two people from my prom were in that party somehow. I felt ridiculous. At least my friedns comforted me. I told my mother that I felt uncomfortable but she just made me feel worse. All day I kept thinking about that. Note to myself and you. If you dont like to dance please never go to parties. I told myself that if there was alcohol I would drink it because this year was full of shit so I hoped it would make me feel better. My friend drank a cup but I didn't want to drink it at the moment because it smelled so awful. I will be forced to drink thay shit when I'm older maybe because of work but I think I won't drink alcohol unless I'm forced. Today I just procastinated I don't even know how. It's already 21:10 and I need to study a lot and do canvas. I just hope those two classmates remember me from the party. Why I cannot tell anything happy in here? Well, tomorrow I'll go out to see Cristopher Robin. I feel like a child lol. I should grow up a little I feel out of place even if I'm happy. The society doesn't like me if I'm inmature. I won't get a boyfriend if I'm inmature. I wanna know how it is. I just need a bit of love but true love. I feel so complicated saying things like this.
           It must be the hormones :v

I finally finished reading Omertà by Mario Puzo, even though I enjoyed it at first, the story turned up to pass so quickly with so many things going on or sometimes becoming boring with a dialogue of two characters plotting their next plan. There were still some surprises that made me change my face. I will talk more about this in my post of book review.

15/04/18

Dear diary:

I needed to wake up yesterday at 10 pm but I put my alarm at 10 am. I'm a genius. I haven't finished my socialisation homework. I'm way too sleepy. I just had a shower. At least I don't have anything from 10 am to 1 pm. I'll do my homework there. I also have an italian exam. In my other exam I had a 19 though I wanted a 20.

14/08/18

Dear diary:

Yesterday they gave us so much homework. And you know it, it had to be my french teacher... I need a break.

18:10 Finally home, my dinner was great. Today I felt stupid, my friends treated me as one because I didn't read a book about communism or something like that. I want to prove the entire world wrong but there is so little time and it is so difficult. My nose is less swollen and it looks great though I have to work on my skin. I'll ask my mom, she knows a lot about that. Omertà is really good I can't stop reading it, I don't talk everytime about it like Child 44 but Mario Puzo is a genius. I now want to read The Godfather. I haven't even watched the movie, though maybe that's better, I don't really like movies or TV series, I just watch anime and their mangas. I have to re do my socialisation homework because I did it wrong. *sigh* I do my best but I still want to do better. My friends are so full of ambitions, I need to work harder to be superior to them. I'm way to inferior and that makes me feel horrible, even if I hate science. I'm at least superior to two friends, but it is simply not enough. Haven't you had the feeling of if you are not number 1 then you are nothing. It is happening to me right now but the other have way much culture than me. I'll show my knowledge in spanish thanks to the Captive by Clara Rojas. We will talk about the FARC and her opinion on that subject is really interesting. I'll sleep early today I'm way to tired but first Mario Puzo.

12/08/18

Dear diary:

Today I dreamt I was pregnant... I'm just 17 years old but I guess in my dream I was older.... This happens for reading love is an illusion, though it wasn't as scary as I thought it will be. It was wierd but really cute, I love Park Dojin so much.

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit down, you remember that crush I had on march 2018? The actual boyfriend of your ex best friend? (because she considers not having a best friend now) Well, my ex friend posted a photo of them kissing. It was so wierd but at the same time I felt like: "You could have done something", "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't have a quarrel with him". Everything was so wierd so I finally decided I should try to break contact with her. I wanted our friendship to last, I really did. Nevertheless, I don't like people with so many mental illness that uncounscionsly obliges you to make them feel better saying things like: "I know nobody likes me". I mean this is a form of victimisation. You are not the only one, I also have problems that I want to tell but I can't, nobody understood me, they thought it was a joke. Remember that is one of the reasons I have this diary.

Wow! I can't believe my friend (lets call her Melissa) Melissa is blogging too! But in amino. I want to make this blog from scratch not go into that platform that I don't truly like. But I'm so proud of her the page recommended her blog.

Today I went shopping and I bought so many things for the 15 year old birthday of my friend. My dress is so pretty though I'm scared I may shine too much.

11/08/18

Dear diary:

I couldn't write to you a lot because of school, I also think I talked to you only when I was feeling down, so that's why I need to tell you the good things of this week.
After starting a lot of books, I finally found one that I love and I think I'll finish it soon. It is called Omertà by Mario Puzo, the author of The Godfather. It talks about the son of a mafioso. I just read 35 pages because I started it yesterday and I just woke up so I'll try to finish it today (though I still need to finish my homework, how sad). Maybe today I'll go out with some friends to the cinema, but I don't think so because there aren't any good movies.
I got better at osu, I'm now ranked 180 000 worldwide and 550 in Peru. I bought new games but I couldn't find any time to play them. I should study the essential for the bac, I bought a book for something...
I started this new anime during the week, I'm almost finished... It's called Sakamichi no Apollon, I think it is the best Coming of Age anime I saw. I'll make a page for anime reviews right now.

If I talk more about my personal life I need to tell you that a friend of mine is really getting on my nerves. Why is she my friend? I don't know. Maybe she just hangs with me for convenience because she doesn0t have any other friends. Well, at least she's intelligent, but if I say something wrong she always laughs at me, well sorry. Also, I found my ex crush when I was talking with a guy friend of mine, and he told us: "Hey, you two talk a lot right?". It was so random but we both ignored him, I think my friend didn't listen to him but I just pretended not to.
I want to tell you also how I truly love my best friend. I now know th efeeling of true friendship, you know it is not a lesbian love but we always hug each other and say things like: " I love you bish". She acompannies me when I'm lonely, and I do the same. If her boyfriend doesn't make her happier than me, I'm gonna steal her from him lmao. Ok, no but I truly wish she becomes the happiest person in the world.

I  need to finish homework today because tomorrow I need to buy shoes for a 15 birthday party of a friend. I already got the dress (lol it's from my mother but it is so pretty). Those were the happy things of this week.

09/08/18

Dear diary:

Hey! Today was my birthday... it was horrible you know? Well almost.

Why horrible you may ask. Well my hopes and dreams of being good in french were crushed. Today I had 3 exams. Just great. Today was a long day. 

First of all, the exam of that book I was reading before and I couldn't finish called Les Liaisons dangereuses. I loved that book but I just couldn't finish it. Ugh, I JUST remembered I have to return to the library Tartuffe and Candide. Don't get me wrong, I love books, but I couldn't finish any of them. I feel so down today, that the reason why I write you. I was feeling so responsible this days mostly with socialisation homework. I'm doubting what I want to study again. I think I'm not good enough. Everything I do is not good enough. A 15 is considered bad for the mother of a friend. My friends in the "filière scientifique" are always studying. I think who am I doesn't truly like to become a person who likes to study. I was seeing some videos of Ruby Granger and I got really pumped up for studying today but everything crumbled when the exam was way too specific and my bac blanc of french turned out to be "luck" as my teacher calls it. I feel so miserable, so, so miserable. 

Finally, the tip of the icerberg... It was training for the TPE the same teacher told me: "You need to learn french", so I just feel I'm a good for nothing. I at least want to become good on osu.

Well I don't want to talk anymore about that I just played osu and it is 8:34. I'll just read a bit and tomorrow I'll study for the exam.

8/08/18

Dear diary:

Tomorrow is my birthday and I spent all the day working on my tpe great tho I feel happy with my homework I hope my teachers do as well. I haven't read anything and I feel so sad about that oh well.

7/08/18 and my weekend

Dear diary:

This weekend I didn't do anything important so that's why I didn't write before.

Saturday. I spent the whole day playing osu and watching useless YouTube videos. I hated that unproductive day, my ranking was still the same.

Sunday. I did a lot there's a lot to tell. It was my mother's birthday. We didn't do anything for her and I feel so bad about that. We actually don't do much for birthdays. It's mostly my fault because I don't like to celebrate my birthday. I mean, I waste time. I can eat cake every day and I'm happy everytime so why have a special day to be happy? They give you gifts you could say, but I don't need anything. I don't like to travel so having a trip to the beach or another country isn't an option for me. Because we don't celebrate my birthday my mother didn't do it also. Nevertheless, what could we do on her birthday? I don't win money how can i give her a gift? I can't go out if I don't have permission so how can I even go search for a gift. My grandmother is with us right now so she was expecting something special. She wanted to eat "tamales" and was hoping my grandmother would buy or cook some for her. Sadly, my grandmother woke up pretty late at 8 am but my mother woke up at 5:30 am to cook some soup. She told me she was hoping to wake up with a full breakfeast (coffee and tamales) but instead she was the first to wake up. It was a normal day for her so that's why the rest of the day she was bugging my grandmother on "how this b-day could have been incredible if it wasn't for you". Poor grandma, she must also be feeling guilty.
Well, back to me.
Saturday I forgot to do phy chimie homework. I had to do it today. Hopefully my teacher doesn't see anything...
I made a deal with a girl in my class. She got the test questions for me so I just have to help her. Even if she hasn't read the book she is working a lot. I'm surprised. And she is helping me too! If she doesn't get a twenty in this I'll feel really bad... She is a really good person. Maybe we'll become friends. Even though I thought of that some years ago in the same situation with science homework, but that time she was way more irresponsible. She tried to help me but I ended up doing most of the homework. Our work turned up alright. I have noticed I work a lot more when I have a really irresponsible friend. For my tpe, I feel like I don't do anything because of my very responsible friends.
That day I played osu and I beated the ranking of an online friend who has 120 hours when I only have 100 hours. I'm finally 195 000! I also made A LOT of socialisation homework. I finished all the course by myself and today I'm gonna finish the activities.

Monday. Today was a pretty relaxing day because I woke up at 7 am even though I don't have school until 10.

Tuesday: I was supposed to write yesterday about my day but it was way too boring so I won't make you lose your time on that lol. I saw some videos of my already played otome games. I should play them again they are so good. 

3/08/18

Dear diary:

Even if I went to school only three days it was really tiring. I finally did my economy exam. I think i fucked it up everyone wrote a lot but I just didn't know what to write, I made it so simple.

So, let's start telling you the last events...
Wednesday, I spent the evening reading my french book and woke up pretty early for doing my spanish homework. The exam was posponed to tuesday and my spanish teacher didn't even see if we did the homework. Somehow, my really annoying and irresponsible class did the homework and I had to finish the rest at the break. I couldn't do anything else either, I could had gone to the school's library but the bell already rang. I have a friend who I talk about literally the same thing every single day but ultimately, he's been talking with a girl of her class. Don't think I'm jealous! He's not my type even if he looks like te first boy who confessed to me... I thought we were close friends but he only looks for me when he wants to talk about that. Anyhow, at least I'm glad he talks with me about his worries like becoming an adult, studying and that. He is a year older than me but he is in my math class so we can talk in there and in breaks.
Later, I had to do my science homework that I didn't do either in lunch break. I took way too long eating so I couldn't do it. And guess what? The teacher asked for the homework. At the end of the class I told him I could'nt give it to him because I forgot it at home. He believed me and because I'm responsible he let me give it to him tomorrow and that's what I did.
When I arrived home I studied for economy even though I had an exiatecial stress crisis out of nowhere. I started crying because I thought If I studied international business in the future I wouldn't be happy. My economy teacher at least received my work of marketing were I spent a whole day investigating...
I need to focus more on my schoolwork alas, I want to play kingdom hearts;;
I finally fell asleep and I studied at the morning and at free hour.
My exam was like I told you before...

Some time later, I was eating and I put a towel in my mouth to clean it. Somehow one of my braces broke and I had to go to the dentist.
Stupid day.

1/08/2018

Dear Diary:

It is 9:57 am, ok.
So, yesterday I couldn't write to you because I was really tired and I got way too obsessed with boku no hero academia. I managed to finish my english homework but not my book...
I also have an important exam this friday. I haven't studied anything, I don't even have notes for studying...

Today I started school, I only went to my spanish class. I need to go back at 1 o'clock. Today I even discovered I have an exam about italian verbs. I forgot everything even if I am really good at languages and I love italian. I'll study for it at 11:30. I am in page 190 of Les Liasons Dangereuses of 478. I'm fucked. I'm really fucked. I also need to do a science assignement and a spanish assignment that I just got this morning. In spanish class I saw a peruvian movie called La Teta Asustada, in english the title literally means "the scared tit". I mean what the fuck with that movie I need to rewatch it because I couldn't understand anything. It was really boring. Ugh, help me. The book I'm reading is really interesting but I DON'T HAVE TIME.