Dear diary:
It's been long time isn't it?
I fear that I only come to you for telling you my problems. I use to think what my old crush was writing about in his phone. Maybe his feelings too? Ugh that was the worst episode of my life. I want to talk to someone about it. I mean I already forgot him but the consequences just drive me mad and crazy. You know my old best friend right? I dont talk with her in almost a year. Why? Why? Why? Was it my fault? Did she want to lose all contact with me? She did change... but I want to know about her life. I miss her so much and not because I like her romantically but all of those memories are engraved deep into my heart. That time when we flew together to France where very fun, we lived together for 15 days and even if had our quarrels it was fun. I want to cry. Ita been 3 months since I dont speak with her at all. She is happy. I am too but she is missing. How is my best friend dealing with it? Is she having problems? Why no one tried to unite them? Nobody know apart her that I dont speak with Nakima anymore. I keep dreaming about her. My friend sent me some photos of an anime I watched together with her. I fangirled over so many animes with her. I'm making memories with my actual best friend so why is she missing? I know a friend isn't replaceable. But she banned me from her contacts. Im sure that she doesnt want to speak to me. Why are people now so grumpy? I try to make my life better. If you are unhappy dont blame. I try not to. If I do its just a joke or a not so horrible problem. Dont tell me that my life is better than yours you chose it to be like that. I just want to be happy. Share your feelings with me you know? I try to be always shiny to give you some of my happiness. Not to make you jealous. Plz stop. Plz return. I dont like your relationship. He stole you from me. Maybe if I never fell in love with him you would still be by my side. Stupid hormones who wished for a boyfriend. Im happy but is it wrong wanting someone to tell you beautiful words? Is it wrong doing a chirurgy to look better for yourself? Tell me is it wrong?
I fear that I only come to you for telling you my problems. I use to think what my old crush was writing about in his phone. Maybe his feelings too? Ugh that was the worst episode of my life. I want to talk to someone about it. I mean I already forgot him but the consequences just drive me mad and crazy. You know my old best friend right? I dont talk with her in almost a year. Why? Why? Why? Was it my fault? Did she want to lose all contact with me? She did change... but I want to know about her life. I miss her so much and not because I like her romantically but all of those memories are engraved deep into my heart. That time when we flew together to France where very fun, we lived together for 15 days and even if had our quarrels it was fun. I want to cry. Ita been 3 months since I dont speak with her at all. She is happy. I am too but she is missing. How is my best friend dealing with it? Is she having problems? Why no one tried to unite them? Nobody know apart her that I dont speak with Nakima anymore. I keep dreaming about her. My friend sent me some photos of an anime I watched together with her. I fangirled over so many animes with her. I'm making memories with my actual best friend so why is she missing? I know a friend isn't replaceable. But she banned me from her contacts. Im sure that she doesnt want to speak to me. Why are people now so grumpy? I try to make my life better. If you are unhappy dont blame. I try not to. If I do its just a joke or a not so horrible problem. Dont tell me that my life is better than yours you chose it to be like that. I just want to be happy. Share your feelings with me you know? I try to be always shiny to give you some of my happiness. Not to make you jealous. Plz stop. Plz return. I dont like your relationship. He stole you from me. Maybe if I never fell in love with him you would still be by my side. Stupid hormones who wished for a boyfriend. Im happy but is it wrong wanting someone to tell you beautiful words? Is it wrong doing a chirurgy to look better for yourself? Tell me is it wrong?
I remember her voice. I remember her coming to my house crying and begging for forgiveness. Why couldn't we maintain the friendship. Was it all an illusion we built in a moment of treason? It wasn't. I just think he changed it all.
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