27/07/18

*sigh* Why the days need to pass so quickly? I'm really stressed about homework even if I read Les Liasons Dangereuses and watched Les Moissons du futur a little bit. I just want to play otome games or read... I'm just doubting what I'll do on the future... My plan was to originally go to France and study international business for Asia because I really like the culture there but I want to take a programming course in there too because I actually want that writing code becomes a part of my career... I just need to continue with the bac... I just feel that my professors hate me for being absent on exams way too much. It's not my fault, I get stressed way to easily and in that time I needed to get everything done for my septoplasty... I spent all my vacations on rehabilitation. I haven't recovered completely but I'm way better. Now the problem are... the braces.... My self esteem was horrible those days this year was the worst in those terms. But of course the school won't take the time to look for that they just care if you are healthy so of course you have to "lie". It is technically not a lie because I'm sick not physically but psychologically. Though at least I don't have depression. One friend was really struggling on those terms I feel bad for her. She had to leave school early. She now takes graphic design courses and is happy, well at least really better. She even has a boyfriend!

This day I struggled a lot eating because of the braces... Well I guess I still look better with these, I just have to cope with them. 

I'm really happy of the habit of making a diary even if I still forget to post... I write in the day and not in the night because if something happens I feel I'll forget. Hopefully I can sometime show my diary to my kids (if I have any) or my next generation it will be funny but memorable. Though getting pregnant seems scary, I just have 16 years old so. It will be cute to adopt someone though but for that... I have to win enough money. Life can be so difficult and making others happy is way more difficult.

Today I had some ideas for my blog. I litteraly want to make recommendations of everything that I like so don't expect me talking only about otome games or something like that. Here are my ideas:
     - How I'm learning german this 2018
     - My Japanese Progress with Genki
     -  Book recommendations and my goodreads
     - My favorite videogames
     -My life as a peruvian, anecdotes and the reality they never tell you

I watched the movie So I married an Anti fan *sigh* good and funny love stories. It is great you should check it out. It also shows the sad truth of writers I guess. 

I forgot to tell you that my mother bought today a doll. I thought of nameless immediately. The story of how she bought it is really sad. We live in Peru where poverty is a sad truth even at the capital... An old woman was selling dolls. My mother bought it because of pity, the doll was the last one so she could go home. She sold it at only 5 soles that is 1.5 dollars... I don't play with dolls anymore so she put the doll in the closet. This reminded me of nameless a lot it is so sad. Nameless makes you think what dolls think even if they can't move exactly as a plant. She said she is gonna give it away to a friend in work so they could give it to their daughters. But thinking about it those types of daughters in mid 2018 dont like those types of old dolls not even me. I feel so sad thinking that that doll may end up in the trash. It hurts my soul. Hey if you are an adult and have kids please just give them one doll they have to care for one like it is a friend they cannot replace it and tell them what I think they will start thinking.